Good morning. Tonight I dreamt up about the inner highly sensitive boy who never got the full chance to express himself. Do you maybe have one inside as well? The Inner Highly Sensitive Boy If you are regularly reading this blog, it is without a doubt because you have recognized the highly sensitive men inside of you. Great. An important step in living a fuller and richer, truer to yourself life. But if you are an HSM, then you certainly also have a HSB – a highly sensitive boy inside. You didn’t just become an HSM over time, you were born one. But the question is, has your childhood been an HSB-friendly one. If it was, you probably would never have started to learn about the highly sensitive man and HSP-concepts, since your life was fine the way it was, no big deal. Talking to the HSB Some posts ago I mentioned „active imagination“ as mentioned by Elaine Aron in „The Undervalued Self“. What I would recommend you to do is to plan a conversation with your inner highly sensitive boy. The HSB that might never have had his chance to come forth and make his expression of talent and passion. If your childhood was like that of most boys, you might early on have learnt that showing feelings and emotion is „unmale“ and „feminine“, so you soon learnt to hide your emotions in order to be accepted by other „men“ or at least to be tolerated and not made fun of à not being overstimulated by mean boys around you. Unless you had the fortune of having knowing parents or well-doing parents that enabled you to find a passion, maybe the piano, or writing poetry or photography for example that made you really proud and built your self-esteem using HSB-talents, you probably consciously or unconsciously learnt to be ashamed for your sensitivity. Welcoming the HSB When I started my first active imagination with my inner HSB, I found himself hiding in a protective pose inside a cave where he was hiding from the outside world. He was crying and looking away, not wanting to look towards the outside of the cave, but turned inwards as if to search further protection. My consciousness was crying out for him, as if searching for him in case he might have hidden inside a cave. Only slowly but surely did he make himself known, first by hearing him cry, then using a soft and not loud voice „Here, I am here.“ A shy, crying boy that wanted to come forth but wasn’t sure if the person arriving had good intentions or if it was safe out there. Making Peace Do an active imagination where you welcome the HSB, thank him for being there and promise that you will take care of him. REsolve and discuss past traumas in a friendly way and keep doing these imaginations until you are at peace with the inner HSB. What I have found for me is that the more often I do this exercise, the better I feel inside, and the more I naturally align my life to being HSM-friendly, and feeling better about it. I remember traumas like crying in elementary school when a good friend of mine moved away or being laughed at for being shy and „not saying anything“ at age 12 by a girl that I had actually had a crush on. This process is the best I have found to heal past traumas, make peace with the past and move forward into a productive and authentic future, where you don’t have to fight your innate sensitivity, but can use it to enrich yourself and others. Try it and let me know what happens! – Chrisi Brand
The Way of The Highly Sensitive Man
(+ Workbook) is now available as a Kindle E-Book or PDF-Download.