Your Sensitivity Is A Gift Hey, over the weekend I discussed with a good friend who is into coaching and NLP about the model of high sensitivity and especially how it relates to women. It has brought me to the simple conclusion that we need to take a further step after acceptance. Enjoyment… Share With The World While we did not agree on the topic right away, since my friend believes more in the theory of nurture vs. nature, we did have some interesting topics to discuss. You know that in psychology there is this big general debate between nature vs. nurture:

  • Nature: how and who we are is largely determined by our genetics, in other words: from birth
  • Nurture: who and how we are is largely determined by our circumstances, environment, upbringing…

I liked to refer to Elaine Aron’s study from 1997 entitled “Sensory-Processing Sensitivity and its Relation to Introversion and Emotionality” where it is clearly shown that a certain percentage of the population shows different brain stimulation when being scanned with EEG… Yet the article also shows that parental upbringing makes a big difference. However, the fact whether you are a HSP or not is determined by birth. What you do with it and how it affects your life is then of course a matter of your environment and once aware and mature, up to your choice. A Gift to be Used My friend did not entirely embrace the notion of sensitivity, but he reported of a bad example. In his research he has found on many authors that claimed something like the sensitivity concept, but made it a justification for “not being out there in the world”, completely retreating into their cave and not facing the world. The point he made then very much resonated with me: “Exactly those that are sensitive should go out there into the world and do something with it.” The way that I reformulate this is that sensitivity, with all its potential downsides as being overstimulated faster, also means that we have a skill to give. We can be more empathic, quicker sense dangers and implications of a situation, are good planners and think ahead. All great things that can help the world. That means once we are done blaming the world for making us feel bad about being HSPs and especially HSMs – an adequate phase because much of us were confronted with this – we should actually go out and we have gone through the relieving process of learning about HSP and accepting our identity with it, we have to become okay with it and then actively seek how we can help others because of our gift. It May Take TimeRemember the 3 phases that we might have to go through

  1. Stopping the blame game and work through anger, fear and sadness
  2. Education about and acceptance as HSP/HSM
  3. Discovering and giving our HSM gift

More on these 3 phases in future posts. For today: just imagine the idea that the thing you might have been fighting inside of you for a long time could actually be the ultimate thing that you were put here to do and give to others. What a relieve! – Chrisi Brand