Dear HSM, thanks again for stopping by another time. This post is going to be around the topic of delineating yourself from the world around you. Protecting yourself from an overstimulating world and trying to keep peace and sanity in mind. Just how can you do that? First of all, please go to our post about creating a bed fortress – that is what your room in which you sleep in should really be. Just there for sleeping and relaxation, that is it. Moreover, I want you to pick up a certain video right now, and that one is called: “Basic Yoga For Dummies”. When I watched this video for the first time 4 years ago, it transformed my life. No kidding. It was what finally allowed me to relax from caffeine intoxication, and lack of sleep. I slowly but surely could get back from lower to higher self and actually access all of my brain functions, not just the survival mode :). But, what is important for delineating yourself from others: 1. Acknowledge that you need to do it. 2. See if guilt feelings come up when you do 1. 1. Acknowledge your need to do it. You are an HSM, remember? You process more and you filter less. You are sooner overstimulated and that is bad for your stress and cortisol levels. You need to let go and get some fresh air. If you have been reading this blog for a longer time or have been reading Elaine Aron or Ted Zeff, this one should be all figured. 2. See if guilt feelings come up when you do 1. Yes, it should be figured, but there might still be guilt feelings coming up. That is okay and they can be welcomed. Go with the emotions and play with them instead of suppressing them. What matters again is that you reframe them – check Elaine Aron’s HSP book on this for more details. The reframing helps you to change the context. And when you really work it on paper – always a great strategy by the way – then you will simply realize that you are actually hurting everyone by not delineating yourself. Exactly if you want the best for others, you have to delineate yourself so you can recharge and relax, be yourself. “Pay yourself first” as they say, is the best way to do it. Or, the example comes from Baywatch!!! First, you have to save yourself as a lifeguard. For if you die, the person you want to rescue will die too. But if you make sure that what you do is doing you good, you have the energy and the possibility to help the others too and do good for them. NO ONE is profiting from an overstressed, anxious, overstimulated and potentially agressive HSM that has put on too much stress on himself and then carries the pain outside. Trust me, been there. ** Recently I have been reading Ted Zeff’s book “The HSP Survival Guide”, and it is an amazing read. Full of techniques and strategies on how we, as HSP and HSM can protect and balance ourselves from the world around us – very recommended by the way. He talks about never leaving the house without earplugs and sleeping glasses with you. Whenever you feel there is too much noise, you can just put on those earplugs and distance yourself a little from the outside world. Or when you take a break in the office, you can just go to the restroom and put on the sleeping mask, and try to mini-nap for a few minutes. This was not only recommended to me by Austrian expert on HSP Georg Parlow, it was surprisingly and funnily what I already did long before I knew about HSP. I would have my earplugs and sleeping glasses in my jeans pocket, and about every 60 minutes in the office, I would get up and take a break in the restroom. It might sound weird, but it works and that’s what matters. And it is a much better energy break for us HSM than going to the cafeteria with the others, and have stimulating chit-chat along with a double-espresso with our gossiping colleagues that spread rumors about the CEO’s wife. As an example :). In the office too, do what you can to make your workspace calmer, maybe dim the lights if you are sensitive to that, close the windows if a lot of noise is coming in. Of course, thinking about your work habits, you also should not be multitasking and relax regularly for staying in optimal performance mode. Don’t check your mails all the time, shut off notifications and check at regular intervals instead of having push-alerts show up. Highly distracting and counter-productive to progress. And don’t even worry what your boss would say. What they care about is results and productivity, the rest really does NOT matter. Sure, you don’t have to fully tell him what you are doing ;). There is certainly more on this topic and we will discuss it soon. Just make sure that you acknowledge the need to delineate yourself from the world regularly to work out overstimulation. And then just go ahead and do it when it is necessary.
The Way of The Highly Sensitive Man
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